What? How could traditional romance novels teach us anything about sexual empowerment? Well, after reading pretty much every Harlequin Romance published between 1974 and 1979, I can share some real lessons learned from the heroines in the Harlequin romance!

First, although most of these novels had a classic storyline where an underrated heroine meets the strong, hard bodied hero, and there is always happy ending – a strong, resilient feminine hero with a budding sexual awareness emerges. Within the first 2 to 3 pages we know who is going to end up with whom. However, the big question was always … how will this play out?

And, this is where I was initiated on how to be a bedroom goddess – and these lessons have been like gold for me.

Lesson 1:

The Art of Foreplay: These novels have made it an art and a business out of building sexual chemistry, tension and anticipation – so that you absolutely cannot put down the book. Talk about page turners! My takeaway: By getting to know someone before the big event, and by being subtle enough to give them a little taste of your lustiness but holding back enough to keep them wondering – really works!

Lesson 2:

The Power of Subtlety: These heroines were always understated and underrated (both their talents and clothing). This gave them a distinct advantage because the first kiss or sexual encounter was so unexpected and that really intensified the chemistry.

My takeaway: The “girls” should be under control and out of sight, although nicely highlighted with subtle see through fabric or tantalizing form fitting tops and shirts that are provocative but not a “rase minou” (it is worth it to look this up). Giving a hint of what is underneath, without giving it all away for free, can go a long way to subtly build sexual anticipation…

Lesson 3:

Strong is Sexy: The heroines always had significant challenges, loss of status, lost virginity before marriage, or a scandalous ex-husband or warrior or simply living in difficult time periods in history. Despite devastating setbacks – these women all stood their ground and ran the bordello or spy agency or family farm with strength and determination.

My takeaway: For me this has always helped me keep my values and keep my sense of self, regardless of the man in my life (at the time as there were several…). I know that men have quickly become enamored with me in large part because they respected my strength developed from being professionally, financially and emotionally independent.

Lesson 4:

Morality is not a turn off: These romance novels were most often set in medieval or Victorian times when sexual morality was always part of the dialogue. However, it seems that the heroine always managed to resist the hero’s advances for a while yet give him enough encouragement to keep the interest flowing…. and other things later in the book. I must confess that sometimes I would skip to the last chapter for a quick fix of lusty prose to keep me going if the plot was someone slow….

My takeaway: Know your values and what you will accept from a partner both in and out of the bedroom. Stick to this and your own self-respect will garner your partner’s respect.

Lesson 5:

Unexpected sexiness is better than porn: Yes … some plotlines were predictable – the librarian with the glasses and unflattering dress or the seemingly straight-laced governess, with the high-collared dress with a flouncy petticoat – each hiding a kickass body dying to be touched. Touched by whom – the hard-bodied highlander or the country squire or the sun kissed rancher.

My takeaway: The art of surprise is a hidden weapon and can really cement your relationship. I do not know a man who does not appreciate a woman who behaves (at least publicly) like a lady or simply a nice human being and is a tigress in the bedroom.