Hi Tina,

I am in a stable, loving relationship but things have gotten a little boring in the boudoir. I have some old sex toys that I have not used in a while and just wondering is this a good idea (don’t want him to expect it every time) and have things changed much in the sex toy dept?

Love your question!

And, oh my! How things have changed, from the clitoral stimulators now found on dildos, to the kegel balls, huge variety of his and her butt plugs, great choices in strap-ons, – to say nothing of the leather wear and accessories… Oh my – I have to open my window…

It is definitely worth the visit and in my humble opinion a visit or two every year will do wonders for your relationship. Showing the interest and willingness to continue to sexually explore and uncover your passions will help keep the relationship stimulating, fun and is perhaps one of the best bonding (no pun intended) rituals you can have with your partner. Think of it this way – image that every year you both reinventing yourselves sexually to a certain degree so it is like having a new and exciting partner that you already love and respect!

As for him expecting toys every time you have sex, maybe set the expectations before or just after your purchase these treasures – whatever works for you guys. It could be once a week, it could be on date night, it could be planned in advance with a sexy invite left on his or her pillow, etc. So, enjoy the anticipation of the visit – make it a thing with a couple’s romantic dinner just before…. and especially enjoy the experience and the joy and passion it can bring to your relationship!